A group of alumni, highly established in their
careers, got together to visit their old
University of Notre Dame lecturer. Conversation
soon turned into complaints about stress in work
and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer
went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot
of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain,
plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some
expensive and exquisite, telling them to help
themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand,
the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the
nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.

While it is but normal for you to want only the best for
yourselves, that is the source of your problems
and stress. What all of you really wanted was
coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for
the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and
position in society are the cups. They are just
tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of
Life doesn't change."

"Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we
fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.